Tattooist Gifts

'I suggest placing it up here. Over time it will eventually end up where you want it.'

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

Henry VIII visits his tattooist again

Man having red cross tattooed on his back.

"Don't you get bored doing tattoos all day?"

"Nothing fancy. Just my current address."

How Tattoos Age

'Thanks, it's an English word - it means 'spiritual warrior'.'

'Would you like to see the rest of my art collection?'

A Bull is getting a Tattoo of a Butcher's Beef cutting chart.

Operation Tattoo

"How may I hurt you?"

"You want art, words, or a QR code?"

'Yes, mom - this is a tattoo! You don't like? Then screw you!'

"Now everyone will know where you're from, Egghead!"

'Do you know that tattoo reads,'I love little porcelain dolls'?' (a Chinese man explaining to a tough guy what his Chinese tattoo really means).

'Can you run that by me again? I'm not sure I got it down right...'

'I'm a tattooist mate not a micro-surgeon.'

A fat Sailor getting a banana split tattooed on his chest

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"Hello - anyone about?"

"Why'd I get into this business? Revenge."

"Now what d'yer intend doing now I've told yer I'm broke?"

Attacked by pacifist tatooist

'Forgive me if I doze off-it's like watching the telly!'

"....And has the best man got the tattooist?..."

'OK Pal, whatever you say - here comes a bowtie!'

"This haircut may score points at dog shows, but it's made me an object of ridicule with other dogs. I need a tattoo that will make me look cool."

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

"I have a love of words, too."

Tattoo's 'Yes it Hurts.'

"I love being a non-conformist."

Got anything in a corporate logo?

"So you want me to ink - 'I'm the head-honcho around this joint!'"