Tasty Experimenter Pillows

'I hope you like it. I call it refrigerator cleanout casserole.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Cookbooks

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'