Tastemaker T-Shirts

"Before Carlo did us, we thought the whole nineteenth century was clunky."

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Cereal Tasting.

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

My comfort zone

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

"Damn these super powers!"

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'My Lee's creative with food. He always customizes his toppings when we phone for pizza.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"What would you serve with toast?"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'