Tartan Tinkerers Pillows

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'What clan do you belong to?'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

Scottish party

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

Out of kilter.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

Highland Piper.

Scotsman in the bath...

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

The Scottish Lawn

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

Innovate or die.

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

Remote control car breakdown.

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'There's no fear of him making a Frankenstein's Monster out of this is there?'

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

Where Scottish milk comes from.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

With a little twist on the sidecar concept, Harold was able to ride his motorcycle well into his later years.

Humphry Davy: "My isolation of the alkali metals led...to this great battery..."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."