Tarot Readings T-Shirts

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Why bother?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"You're solemates!"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

"It will be all your fault."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Your climb up the company ladder starts now.

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Ill next Thursday

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

The Inner Dog.

Nostradamus.

Hog Futures

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Monster Horrorscopes

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

Big Medium

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."