Tar Pit Theorist T-Shirts

'Then gently rub in the lighter fluid, and the tar will come right out!'

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

Burning the Other

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

Jurassic Country Club.

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

Guru Shifted Thinking

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

"Think about it: State-of-the-art tar preservation! And then, when we eventually find a cure for this extinction thing, there YOU are! On the ground floor!"

The Devil screeming hate speech through a megaphone called "tolerance" at a person holding up a sign that says "free speech"

Speaker and crowd 'Think for yourself!', 'MAKE me!'

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

Yet anoher prehistoric mammal is covered up by the La Brea Tarp - never to be seen again.

'Watch her, she's a whistle blower!'

The armchair pharmacologist speaks...

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

'When you said you're a contrarian, I just assumed you meant your investment style, Mr. Kobenz.'

'Please welcome our first speaker who will discuss 'The Challenges of Globalisation'.'

ANARCHISTS' ASSOCIATION, 'All right! -- our Government grant just came through!'

"Get back in there!"

Snowman Murder

'I'm beginning to think our flock has discovered the grass is greener the other side of the fence...'