Tanning Salon Attendant T-Shirts

"Rare, medium or well done?"

Bad fake tan day.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Sunbathing in Autumn

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Trucker's tan?'

'I love us when we're tan.'

"It's a belly button thermometer. When it pops up, I'm done!"

A gap between the solar panels

"Nap time."

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

Sun Worshipers

'You're new here, aren't you?'

How to spot a tourist on the beach.

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

The Sun Bather

'Medium well, please.'

Gym/Tan/Donut

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

"I smell bacon. Are you wearing sunscreen?"

"High time!"

'Did you just curdle?'

Sun Umbrella

Trucker's tan.

'Stan, you are assistant bank manager now, no more sunning yourself during lunch.'

One good thing about an oil spill is that it gives you an instant tan without worrying about the harmful effects of exposure to the sun.