Tall-tale Detective Gifts

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Fishing Tales

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Reasonableman

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Fishing Boat Derby

'It was this big. I swear'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

Writers wait in their area of expertise.

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

Diary of a DNA Cop

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Library: Tall-Tales and Facts.

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'