Talk Enthusiast Pillows

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Fortunately there was an interpreter for those who understood sign language.

'Hello, I would like to talk to somebody.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Campaign for Plain English

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

"Could I ask just one question?"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

Ruddy bloggers!

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

"At least we agree to disagree."

Woman on the phone.

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

Human Brain

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."