Talk And Walk Fan Pillows

Woman and dog with mobiles

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

Exciting potato bugs.

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

Guy on stilts watching a balloon dog lift its leg on his stilts. Balloon animal maker watching on.

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"You don't think this could be construed as ironic do you?"

'I'm terribly sorry. I thought it said 'gods'.'

"The people will not tolerate people speaking on behalf of the people any longer!"

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

God's Double Whammy.

'We should talk more.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

Artist paints nude model with Etch-a-Sketch.

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Polo pony

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"You're down 10 - zip after the friggin' first half. Ask yourself � what is it going to take to turn this shit around?"

Planetless, please help.

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

When motivational speakers are TOO effective.

"I did it!"

Only a handful of people are this small.

Mob psychiatry

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'