Talent Show Critic Pillows

"I've done it, Igor! I've created a pop group!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

American Idle.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

The Drummer

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Piers Morgan.

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

No Talent Agency

Trump commissions song

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

How long have you let this unhealthy obsession with family and friends interfere with your celebrity-watching?

The Ox Factor

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

NEW FALL LINEUP

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'