Talent Magnet Gifts

Something tells me his current firm aren't going to be happy to let him go!

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Sid Sinatra.

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Charlotte Rampling

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"Er. . . anything else?"

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

'It saves me the trouble of constantly asking myself 'What's my motivation?''

'Here's looking at you, kid...'

'Admittedly, I'm into greed but it's honest greed.'

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

No Talent Agency

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"