Takeaway Owner T-Shirts

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Fast food. Even faster food

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Today's special... donuts.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"This is our soft opening."

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

Kitchen Kapers

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Garlic Free Zone.

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"