Tail-wagging Tv Addict Pillows

The dog food channel.

Showbiz Awards

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Dog lover

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Stephen Fry

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

Big screen TV falling through floor

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

Can't Touch This

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"You've already been for a walk."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"