Tail-wagging Trainers Pillows

'Now say 'please'.'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

A man and his dog

Dog lover

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"You've already been for a walk."

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

"You've got to lay off the homework."

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'He's barking mad!'

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

English Pointers giving pointers.

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

'They wouldn't let him graduate from obedience school - he bit the valedictorian.'