Tail Appreciator T-Shirts

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"He's already getting attached to you."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

A Venus cow trap.

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

Scot holding a heart.

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

"Put the oven on dear, I've picked us up a lovely leg of salmon."

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

'Forget it, Sister, Jessica -- Notre Dame doesn't need cheerleaders!'

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

'Do you think he knows we're carrying beef sandwiches?'

'The mirror doesn't lie.' 'Thank goodness.'

A Cow watching a horror movie.

'-and she gets headaches every time the doorbell plays our tune.'

'We're design classics son - unchanged for hundreds of millions of years...These new gimmicky things come and go.'

Puppy school vs. kitten school

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

"Believe it or not, we met on a speed date!"

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Take it easy back there!"

Squirrel Salon

"Bloody caravans..."

"That dead thing in the corner looks good."

'If you're so smart, let's see you scratch your ear with your foot.'

"He wags, but his tail doesn't."

Know your dog.