Tactile Linguist Gifts

Blind man says hello in braille.

"I'm still pre-literate."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

It's a picture book. The words aren't called "subtitles."

Psychiatry. I have an irrational fear of words like "and," "or," "but" and "if"! And, conjunctivitis!

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

"It was so noisy in there - all those pages turning."

Brother Ernest, I said "vow of silence," not "sow of violence"!

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

Artichoking victim

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

Heart To Heart

'Now you're talking my language.'

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

Arsene Wenger

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

"Sure I can help him: I specialize in pirate-talk..."

'He can ask 'what's for dinner' in 10 different languages.'

"It's a new word I created. I'm still working on a new definition for it."

"I'm going to prescribe you four metres of bubble-wrap three times a day."

Head of Acronym Development

Department of Linguistics.

Icicle, Bicicle, Bicycle and Icycle.

Tactile Art.

"Siri, two plus two?"

"Does she mean LOL funny or LOL strange?"

"Let's roll."

'Drop dead. Well that's a good start to our union negotiations.'