Tactician At Heart Pillows

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"I see he's been punching you in the face a lot. We should add that to the list of things to prepare for next time."

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Works every time."

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

The Use of Cavalry

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

Trojan Chess

Kosovo.

"If you can't beat them, sir, perhaps you should consider colluding with them."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

Snooker.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

"I try to get a head start on them."

'I want you to take a run at the competition, give them a good scare.'

"Now we have all your arrows!"

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

Arsene Wenger

"Could we move the piece representing ourselves a little farther away from the battle?"

No Tread on Me

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

Steve Bruce

Chess Chef

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

'People are basically good, Henderson. We can use that against them.'

'Sorry JD, there's been a takeover bid.'

Jose Mourinho Caricature.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Cat Map

'Courtney, send in someone who knows a zig from a zag.'