Tactician At Heart Pillows

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"Works every time."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

The Use of Cavalry

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

Kosovo.

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

Trojan Chess

Snooker.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"I try to get a head start on them."

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

'I want you to take a run at the competition, give them a good scare.'

"Now we have all your arrows!"

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"Could we move the piece representing ourselves a little farther away from the battle?"

No Tread on Me

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

Chess Chef

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'People are basically good, Henderson. We can use that against them.'

'Sorry JD, there's been a takeover bid.'

'Courtney, send in someone who knows a zig from a zag.'

"I don't even like toys. I just do this so people won't talk to me."

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Cat Map