Tactician Thinker Pillows

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"That was a rumor day."

The Use of Cavalry

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

Kosovo.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

'Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?'

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

'And that's the quickest way out of the car park after the game.'

"Buy on the dip, ignore the blip, and sell before the bubble bursts."

"Being a leader means you have the ball, what are you going to do with it?"

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."