Tacky Decor Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Cake Free Zone

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Rogue elephant

Posh Easter Egg

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

King Madras

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Snow globe

Food inspection results

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"We need to talk."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Carnations.

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'The old one fell apart.'

'I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.'

"Butt cracker"

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

Sightings reported to Americans for Decency

Android with a computer print out as a scarf

'Edwin, I hop you'll come home in a good mood. The decorators hung the new wallpaper today.'

'A Dust Cow'.

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."