Tackle Tinkerers Gifts

He is Here Supposed to be Getting His Takle in Order, and Trying the Management of his Line.

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

"Careful Hank, this one still has some fight in him."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

Paddling upstream to save a $1.79 lure snagged on a log.

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

Football.

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

Innovate or die.

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'There's no fear of him making a Frankenstein's Monster out of this is there?'

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

"You know very well what fish!"

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

It's Oog's latest invention — the 'thumb-hitter.'

Before instant replay.

Remote control car breakdown.

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Humphry Davy: "My isolation of the alkali metals led...to this great battery..."

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

Adaptability

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."