Taboo Topic Enthusiast Gifts

"You don't have to talk dirty to me. Politically incorrect talk will do it."

"With religion and politics off the table, the only thing left to argue about is gluten."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

JET (Part I)

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

'Inflated gloom!'

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'The following program contains original ideas of an educational nature and may not be suitable for all viewers. Discretion is advised.'

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

"Don't worry, this is perfectly normal for an discussion on intersectionality."

"I crossed the road, doctor and I loved it!"

'I think I'll write it up for 'The Journal of Controversial Research'.'

We leave grandpa alone until he finishes his cussword puzzle.

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'Sleaze, please.'

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

Showbiz is tough

Invasion of Privacy

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

Wacko Jacko Heart Attacko No Comebacko.

The Gutter Press.

Save the Smallpox Virus t-shirt slogan

"Look at these tabloid magazines! Gossip is a venomous misuse of the tongue!"

'Aren't you glad you're a nobody and not a big-shot with the press picking on you all the time?'

Cat on phone to newspaper, voice says: 'For the last time ... we're not interested in stories about 'home alone' cats.'