Tabloid Writer Pillows

'The public aren't panicking about bird flu!'

Overnight Sensation

''Have you considered becominga kiss-and-tell slapper?'

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"So, how did you end up in the gutter press ?"

Careers advisor to schoolgirl: 'Have you considered becoming a kiss-and-tell slapper?'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

JET (Part I)

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

The Original Gossip Columns

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

'Inflated gloom!'

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Leisure Editor

Comparing the headlines of three different New York based newspapers.

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

Welcome to celebrity hell.

Newscorp hacks into itself.

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'