Table Tennis Humorists Pillows

COWS: Cow Pong

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

Bobsled Police.

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

Goal Post Ape.

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

Tennis Player.

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

The Pole Vault Washing Line

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

Same Sexless Marriage

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

'I don't usually find worms attractive,but as soon as I saw him I was hooked!'

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."