Table Decorating T-Shirts

"Have you ever seen a more beautiful table decoration?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Santa Claus's Mail

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Christmas Tree

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Painting the Ceiling

Piranhaclaus

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Happy Easter

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Labor Day Flowers

Frosting the Snowman

"We're looking for something for our panic room."