System Tinkerer Prints

'That book is still floating around the system.'

'I can log into the space station, all our roving satellites and planetary explorers but I can't get into Obamacare.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Mac OS 20

Drool Marks

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Bicycle sat nav.

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

Congratulations on your retirement!

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'