Syntax Surgeon Gifts

"I translate books from English into better English."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

Culinary surgery.

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

'Colourful scenes in central London as the annual pedants' pride parade makes it way into Hyde park.'

On board the MS Hepatology

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

Hollywood Think Tank

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

The Adventures of Grammar Man

"I'm sorry, but refusing to use an Oxford comma isn't really grounds for divorce."

I just spend all day inventing the conjunction! And?

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

"Many editors take it improve their colons and semicolons."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

Directors Chair and Others.

'And always remember that it is the gritty colon itself, not the half-baked semi-colon, that wields the power to confound even the most erudite minds.'

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

To help for having job my lost a translator as

The dog chased the cat. Who can tell me what the subject is? It's grammar, isn't it?!

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."