Syntax Sniper Pillows

"I'm sorry, but refusing to use an Oxford comma isn't really grounds for divorce."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

'Colourful scenes in central London as the annual pedants' pride parade makes it way into Hyde park.'

Hmm... all I need to do now is invent the wheel...

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

The Adventures of Grammar Man

"Many editors take it improve their colons and semicolons."

I just spend all day inventing the conjunction! And?

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

"I translate books from English into better English."

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

'And always remember that it is the gritty colon itself, not the half-baked semi-colon, that wields the power to confound even the most erudite minds.'

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."

To help for having job my lost a translator as

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

The dog chased the cat. Who can tell me what the subject is? It's grammar, isn't it?!

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

News. Editor. Like it? It's a new punctuation mark I invented!

'At a guess I'd say there were Santa's little helpers.'

"My worst nightmare is seeing apostrophes where they don't belong."

"Don't split your infinitives with me, squire!"

'He's counting how many words 'whom' with an 'm'. His record is six hundred and twenty nine.'

'Congratulations to Sniper Harris on winning Best Floral Arrangement...'

"Do I capitalize the first letter in each word of, 'my idiot husband?'"