Syntax Sentinel Gifts

'They're arguing over whether it should have an apostrophe.'

"My worst nightmare is seeing apostrophes where they don't belong."

Someone who knows apostrophes

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

'Uh-oh... when mom calls me by my full latin species name, I'm in big trouble.'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

The Adventures of Grammar Man

"I'm sorry, but refusing to use an Oxford comma isn't really grounds for divorce."

John was always the first to notice typos.

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

Sinking Oil Tanker

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

R.I.P. Democracy

"I know you're territorial, but you can't growl when someone uses your stapler."

"I translate books from English into better English."

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

'Don't be afraid, the speculators won't take away your savings. I'll be faster than they are!'

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

"You majored in cyber hacking and institutional sabotage?. . . Hired!"

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."

Stealing digital data from computers.

"Sorry, but until I update the antivirus software, I want to be sure you don't click on any attachments again."

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

'I would have called you sooner, but I had no idea you handled ransomware attacks!'

"You're writing in the masculine again."