Synchronized Giggler Pillows

'Syncronised drowning.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

Tred carefully mill.

'Finally some good news about out new vitamin pill!'

Confession Ratings.

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

"This is an octagon after cutbacks."

"I'd let her go, but she's so good with the kids."

'I'm going to take a shower - No peeking, now.'

"I was told I needed to clean out my computer, so that's what I did. Maybe I used the wrong detergent in the washer, because it won't work now."

"I've discovered a timing device on my wall."

'Well, if you're enjoying your diet plan you must be doing it wrong.'

"Jeez, Charlie. . . as if the cone isn't humiliating enough!"

"Alice said the bottle had 'Drink Me' on the label but the only word I can see is Gin!"

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

'I think the idea of an online dating service for seniors is fine. I just don't think we should name it, 'TimesRunningOut.com.''

Santa in hospital bed with intravenous milk and cookies in situ.

'Ye olde optician.'

Ideas that failed: The computer moose.