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Beethoven's 10th

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"The 'Ex' huh?"

Bach in a Hot Tub!

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Happy hour.

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

Nappy Hour 2-3.

"For those of you visiting our church for the first time just raise your hand and our ushers will refresh your coffee."

"It has a nice, divine quality without being overly liturgical."

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

Latte Day Saints

"Is the vodka fresh?"

Tea Shop.

"For those planning to post a nit-picking, fault-finding critique of us online, may I suggest out 'whine and dine' menu."

'Lance, the more I drink the funnier you get!'

First There Were Only Two. Then There Was a Third. Trouble Began.

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.

"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."

'Instead of passing the fat tax on soda, the government requires that people do 10 chin-ups before the cooler will open.'