Sympathy Gift Pillows

Neil Armstrong 1930-2012.

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Picking pastries.

Get well soon!

'I have here a virus so deadly it could destroy the world...Oh, darn that cat!'

"You got this, Nana."

Extreme valentine enthusiast.

Sling

Get Well cards. They're constantly coming up with new get well cards, but nothing sells as well as the one that makes it clear the sender had the same thing and worse.

"I don't need the glasses, I had 3D laser eye surgery."

Sympathy Cards

Greeting cards: Get Well, Sympathy, Pity.

Stuffed.

"I got the best gift ever! A phone call from my brother in Afghanistan!"

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

'Cheer up, Lenny -- We all have our bad decades.'

"Heh heh heh!"

The Tramp of Human Rights

Animal cemetary with a grieving dog.

"His knee is very painful for me to keep hearing about."

'I'm sorry, but we did all we could to try and save your husband, Mrs. Doornail.'

"He's great at keeping our litter box clean. I just wish he would do the same with his computer."

'Your heart is bigger than the average human heart. That's because you're an animal rights activist.'

Misery Loves Co., Inc.

'For goodness sake, do it properly! Use your EYES! It's all about the EYES!!'

'Now tell him about our one million kids-he's starting to weaken.'

"OK, now I'm having a bad day."

I need a greeting card that starts funny, moves on to heartfelt sympathy, and ends on a note of renewed confidence and joy.

Beirut Ribbon

"So Teddy's peaked too soon again" "Cut him some slack Chet, he's got a headache!"

'I'm sorry I told you the sky was falling. I was going through a very stressful time. Can we do lunch?'

Sympathy Cards Inc.

'You must've been saving with Farepak.'

"Now you know how I feel!"