Symbolic Humor Lovers Gifts

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"I think we'd make a good team!"

Crap from the future.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Peace Locked in a Cage

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

Honest Voting Stickers

The Monroe Doctrine

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

'Snap out of it.'

New life (organ donation)

Recipes for comfort drinks.

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

Only in America

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Police Lineup Escape

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Dollars Press Conference

Euro Collapse

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

Spying Smart TV

"I'm resigning so I can spend more time with my wonderful family, here."