Symbolic Humor Enthusiast Gifts

My Husband Doesn't Have A Clue

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Trappist Monk Discord

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Peace Locked in a Cage

HELLth Food Sprouts

Some scents are nonsense.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

Ask A Silly Question.

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

Clone Factory

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

New life (organ donation)

"Inactivists"

Trump Tariffs

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'