Sword And Sorcery Pillows

'Oh give me a break, I'm just a damsel in distressed jeans.'

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Epic Battles

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Decapitated coffee.

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Pub Kendo.

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

Sawrd Fighting

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

Swords for Making America Great Again

Scheduel.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"