Sword And Sorcery Pillows

'Oh give me a break, I'm just a damsel in distressed jeans.'

Cheeze Wiz.

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Epic Battles

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Decapitated coffee.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'After A Knights Hard Day'

Pub Kendo.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Sawrd Fighting

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

"And now from downtown!"

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

Swords for Making America Great Again

I'm not fighting you until you show me your mask.

Scheduel.

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"