Swiss Army Knife Enthusiast Pillows

'Mom, dad... This is Uri, a Swiss army officer.'

'And this bit is for poking air traffic controllers when they fall asleep.'

"Best of three?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

Progress?

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Soldier watering camouflage plants on troops' helmets.

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

Banting in the Yeomanry

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'Don't tell anyone I asked... but why don't we have muskets?'

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

Ancient Weapons

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

During a round of throwing stuff the boomerang emerges.

Battle.

Cheese Hole

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

Panzer Hut.

Soldier.

Looking Daggers

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

'Here's a field can opener, you may need it to cut yourself out of your tank.'