Swirl Seeker Mugs

'It's not an optical illusion, madame, it just looks that way!'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Eat my dust!"

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

It can be taken up at any age....

'The doctors and nurses all said he was the heaviest newborn they'd ever seen.'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Bishop has his robes stuck in his pants.

For sale - Used only Once.

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

I'm home! Where are my pipe and slippers? At the tobacco shop and the shoe store, respectively.

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

Easter Island Secret

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Toilet humour

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

Becalmed yachts

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

Doom & Gloom

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

"I love the idea of getting married to a jeweller."

Goose gaggle giggle: 'Tee hee! Tee Hee!...'

Still living with parents....

"A guy in 'recovery' wants to buy your slippers."

"Stand-up comedy." "On-your-knees-with-gas-pain comedy." "Please, God, make it stop..."