Swirl Seeker Pillows

'It's not an optical illusion, madame, it just looks that way!'

"Eat my dust!"

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

It can be taken up at any age....

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

'The doctors and nurses all said he was the heaviest newborn they'd ever seen.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Bishop has his robes stuck in his pants.

For sale - Used only Once.

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

Easter Island Secret

Toilet humour

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Becalmed yachts

Doom & Gloom

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

Still living with parents....

"I love the idea of getting married to a jeweller."

"Stand-up comedy." "On-your-knees-with-gas-pain comedy." "Please, God, make it stop..."

Goose gaggle giggle: 'Tee hee! Tee Hee!...'

'He's a gassy baby.'