Swipe Right Strategist T-Shirts

"Sorry ma'am, I just need a quick selfie with your baby for my dating profile."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

How judicious you are/How thin you spread it

"Today I'm going to search and scroll and swipe and binge."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Using a social media app to date

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

"How do you expect to learn to be a good loser when you win all the time?"

"I knew I should've swiped left."

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

"Isn't it nice to see more bobbies on the street...?"

Women Seeking Men

'I'm afraid the meeting will start a little late, the strategic business planning team are lost in the building somewhere.'

'I knew we should have put the CEO's increased bonus item further down the agenda.'

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

"Mind if we play through?"

Chess Chef

Gizmo brain storming meeting.

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

'You and your shortcuts.'

"In hindsight, it looks like I didn't have enough foresight."

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

Woman emptying 'pending' work into bin as 5pm approaches on Friday.

"Bob takes too long to make a decision. Let's ask Phil."

Begging ATM.