Swing Technician Pillows

'I don't think of myself as a caddie, I provide technical support for golfers.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"This never happened."

Swinging

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Not that slowly back...'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

Swing

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Where's my horse?'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Automatic swing machine

A bride and a groom on a swing

Stone henge swing.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'Your backswing's too slow!'

Golfers lost on the road

"This is where I come to unwind."

'Come, Darling! Let us give in to our most primal urges!'

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

Golf