Swim Team Members Pillows

"I'm here to gets the gold"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

Currently Boston

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Swimming Prankster

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'Is the water cold?'

'The trick is to make it look as easy as possible while, underneath, you're paddling like hell.'

Psychic diving competition.

'It's up to you, either synch or swim.'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Fishy tail.

Welcome to Teamville, Population: 7 ... great people to work with.

'How are you doing on your side?'

Fishing

Swimming with dolphins./Swimming with a cow.

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

"Here is the one pager we all agreed on..."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'I've been transferred again.'

Together we defeat the Pandemic