Swim Safety Aficionados Gifts

Rubber Ring

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

A man runs on the water from a shark.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

Rusk Assessment Form

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Work Safety - Chemicals.

Lapdogs

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

Watch Your Step

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000.Please take your seat.'

Deer Crossing.

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"Better safe than sorry, son."

A football referee accidentally shoots his starting pistol in his pocket.

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

'He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper articles about bathtub injuries.'

The waitstaff at Luigi's like to have fun when they administered the Heimlich maneuver.

'Yes, this is the deep end.'