Sweet Tooth Defender T-Shirts

"You've been found sugar free and guilt free."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

"My activity tracker is programmed to understand the need for cookie breaks."

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

IRS Taking Candy From A Baby

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"Ninja bread men"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Cake Free Zone

Another day in the Splenda mines

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"Over here, Carol! I've found one with a caramel center!"

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

Cookie Surveillance

"Look, you bake the cookies, I eat them the system works."

'... Of course, I had to train for this job. I went to sundae school.'

The price of chocolate has gone through the roof!

"A bunch of kids next door are going berserk with a baseball bat! Call 911. I'm losing candy fast!"

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

"Tell me the truth. . . what happens to all the leftover cake scraps in The Great British Baking Show?"

'Something tells me I shouldn't have had these around Easter.'

Doughnut Criminals

Dogs and Cake

American Pastry

"It's marzipan pigs."

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

"What do you eat for anxiety?"

"A flake? I told you I'm on a diet."