Swashbuckling Strategist T-Shirts

A pirate fishes using his hook.

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Input From The Front Office

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

Success

Corporate pirate.

CX909708

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

'We need someone on the outside.'

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'I'd have a lot more of em if it weren't' for some jerks always looking for peaceful situations.'

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

World Domination

Napoleon 'Snuffed Out' by the Russians