Sustainable Pun Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"Think about the honey."

"You've passed with extinction!"

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'This must be the effect of the climate change! Even the data cloud has started to rain!'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Doctor to Pinocchio: 'I'm referring you to a tree surgeon.'

Weather forecast

"No conifering, please."

Closed. He was unable to complete the elevator repair today -- Further steps will need to be taken.

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Well, good luck evolving, son, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! You know, like destroy the planet or something.

I was bitten by a radioactive bedbug – My superpower is getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night. Wow. So lucky.

Renewable energies and mobile telephones

'I'm a little worried about the dedication to His Satanic Majesty, Bishop.'

"I suck!"

I've got to wash my hair. If you don't get out of the shower, Twig, I'm going to�Going to what little brother whose parents don't know he cut school for a day? Going to wear a hat. Ah! The cap in "cap and trade."

Firewood for Sale

'I bought this energy saving bulb in your shop, but it doesn't work.'

"Just because you’re a right whale doesn’t mean you’re always right!"

'We're sending Barb's grandson a birthday card for his 11th. . . should we put eleven dollars in the card?'

Jewdle

Man to nose-covering wife: 'I wonder if T. Boone Pickens has an energy use for my natural gas.'

Wind Farm

'With all the cards and wrapping paper, there's so much more recycling after Christmas.' (Hundreds of booze bottle behind him)

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

'Dolores, cancel Mr. Rubin's transplant surgery. He's had a change of heart about his change of heart.'