Sustainable Food Gifts

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

The Velvet Mesquite

Synthesized Meat - Formerly: Butcher Shop

Desert Island Meals.

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Is the MSG local?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Diner

HELLth Food Sprouts

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Recycling bottle bank.

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

The Authentic Christmas.

Olive Oil

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'