Sustainable Food Gifts

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

The Velvet Mesquite

Synthesized Meat - Formerly: Butcher Shop

Desert Island Meals.

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Is the MSG local?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Diner

HELLth Food Sprouts

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

Recycling bottle bank.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Olive Oil

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

The Authentic Christmas.

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.