Survivors Of Life's Challenges Gifts

"Our foundation covers up just about anything ??" aside from childhood trauma."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

Robinson Crusoe's blog.

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

"Holy water, holy water...."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

Shipwrecked Ventriloquist.

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

'What did you learn at university today?'

"I was totally embarrassed at school today! Miss Lopez yelled at me in math class."

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

"Have you heard? This year they want us to be tenaciously scholastic even in the bathroom."

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'Really?! You didn't get fired today, either?! That's 60 days in a row! I'm so proud of you!'

Martin Gray.

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

"Boy, will I be glad when the weekend gets here!"

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

Desert - Steep Hill sign.

"For the last time — there is no ‘other woman’!"

Suddenly Billy realized that his grandma was right...Now that he was grown up, he did have to beat the women off with a stick.

You're lucky you took the buyout. I was downsized.

"Cancel Culture."

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."