Survivor Supporter Pillows

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

Desert Island BBQ

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

Female chemotherapy warrior.

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

Need tickets.

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

"Now do you believe me?"

"All I need now is someone who wants to adopt a 95 pound lap dog."

'Are you sure this is just a mirage we're crawling through?'

No Loitering

I survived end of the world after party.

Martin Gray.

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

"When they guaranteed delivery anywhere, anyplace, they weren't kidding."

Real Hopscotch: 'A 12-Step Program for the addiction to scotch.'

Workaholics anonymous

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"If she was abused, why didn’t she report it?"

"You been here long?"

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

"For the last time — there is no ‘other woman’!"

"We’re ready when you are!"

Eskimo in Igloo

Snail in desert sees sign for shade trees.

Madness of isolation on a desert island.