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"For the last time — there is no ‘other woman’!"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

Need tickets.

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

No Loitering

"At least my putting has improved."

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

"You been here long?"

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

A football is dropped to a man stranded on desert island

Dying man in desert to friend as vultures approach; 'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

Eskimo in Igloo

'Hey,Fred- I can hear the sea!'

'Well, this is not a good sign: Can I have a look at that map of yours?'

"Your troubles are nearly over - straight ahead about ten miles."

Snail in desert sees sign for shade trees.

"I've been as good as I can in a zombie apocalypse."

"It's a pity I'm a vegetarian..."

"Look! Land! We're saved!"