Survival Strategy Fan T-Shirts

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

65 Million Years Ago

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

"Ticket and passport, please."

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'I hate evolution!'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

Prepper Dog

The trap

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

Need tickets.

'I envisioned something more robust'

"Just junk mail."

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

No Loitering

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

'Some more great camouflage of the insect world.'

"At least my putting has improved."